11 February 1993
Dear diary,
It's been two weeks since I did not tell you. Too much painful memories I have experienced. It’s been two weeks since I left home. Now I'm staying at an inn on the coast. I was waiting for my death. From the beginning I left home, I was resigned to the death of me. Because for me, there is nothing in this world that matters anymore.
At first I did think so, but I feel afraid when death comes quickly, all because of him...
Flashback
“I would like to book a single room for nine nights starting February 11th. Would you mind reserving me a city view room? And please inform me about the current room rates.”
“Thank you for reserving a single room with a city view and for asking the current room rates in our hotel. Unfortunately, we are sorry to inform you that all rooms have been reserve by a group of guest for the nights of February 11th until February 30th.
“Oh okay, thank you.” I said.
“You’re welcome, madam.”
Huh, it’s been three hotels, but all of them are full. I hope God takes my life sooner.
Unconsciously, I arrived at the shoreline. I saw an old inn. I hope they have empty room left. I get in and went straight to the receptionist’s desk.
“I would like to book a single room for nine nights starting February 11th. Would you mind reserving me a city view room? And please inform me about the current room rates.”
“The room rate per night is $150.”
“Okay, this is my credit card”
“I’m sorry, madam. This card is blocked. Do you have any other card?”
“Yeah, here it is”
“I’m sorry madam, this is blocked too”
Scared. Afraid. Confused. That’s how I am right now. What am I going to do? My parents must have blocked my credit cards. Isn’t it enough just to banish me?
In my confusion, a guy approached me and said “Use this card”.
“But, boss”
I saw that guy, blink his eye to the receptionist.
“Sure, sir”
It’s…suspicious.
“Hey, why did you pay for my bill?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just trying to help”
“Oh, Okay” I left him to my room. I’m so embarrassed that it makes my head feels like wants to explode.
After cleaning myself, I went to the shore. I stared at the sunset.
Hoh, how comfort to see the sunset. It made me feel relieved if I had to die now.
When I closed my eyes, I felt a comforting breeze.
PRAAAAK
That sound suddenly broke my concentration. Curiously I went to the source than sound then I saw that guy.
“KUSO!” (Damn it!)
Somehow his smile makes me a little angry. Then, I ran away from him. It should not have happen! This feeling must have been lost since this damned disease came to my life. I felt tears dripped on my cheek. Somehow I felt interested. I lifted my head and I saw that guy.
“Hey, what’s up? Why are you crying?” he asked me worriedly. I kept silent.
“Hey, follow me!” he dragged me to somewhere.
Beautiful.
One word to explain everything here. He brought me to a cliff. The sea looked so beautiful.
“My I ask what your problem is?” I don’t know why, but suddenly I trusted him. I didn’t care if after I told him everything he would leave me.
“My life is ruined!” that guy didn’t understand.
“You know I despise God. He is not fair. He makes me banished from my family, lost my love, and left me alone. I always asked what my greatest sin was. That I have to carry this burden? He gave me…………HIV!” I thought he would leave me, but instead………… he hugged me as if he felt suffering.
“I’m not sad because of your story, but your decision. Do you think your life will be over soon? Even if you don’t have your family anymore, please I want you to live your life for me.” I shocked when I heard that. This gentle feeling filled me and it made me smile.
“I’m Sora”
“I’m Hikaru” I introduced myself.
End of Flashback.
Diary, you know? Now, I fear death. God, may I feel this happiness a little longer?
